The Right Religious Tradition, Part VI

Or "Why I Shouldn't Be Allowed to Binge-Watch DUNE"

Earlier this month, Mrs. Woe and I went to go see DUNE: Part 2 in the IMAX. It’s an awe-inspiring work of cinematography; so awe-inspiring that I returned home ready to become the charismatic leader of a holy war against all who oppose me. My efforts to persuade my RPG group elite cadre of fighters to call me Mua’cris have not so far borne fruit, but the notion of leading a galactic jihad did make me decide to return to the Right Religious Tradition series.

For those of you who have only recently subscribed and/or failed to eidetically recall my every word, the Right Religious Tradition series aims to analyze the merits of a religion in terms of its utility for the American culture war:

Let’s put ourselves in the mindset of game developers creating a simulation, something like Civilization or Master of Orion. It is traditional in these types of games that the players can choose cultures, religions, alien species, and so on for their civilizations, with each choice having pros and cons that affect their likelihood of success. It is also traditional that players be given customization options to, e.g. create their own from the game’s building blocks.

Our imaginary game starts in 2025 and is a simulation of the future of America. As a player, we run a “faction” of the culture war. Let us imagine ourselves as the player controlling the right-wing faction in an imaginary Sid Meier’s Civilization: Culture War and that we must choose or create the religion that will give our faction the best chance to succeed.

In the first installment, I introduced the framework for our analysis and explaining the videogame tier system (S, A, B, C, D, E, F) we’d use to rate the religions. Thereafter I rated Orthodox Christianity (B Tier), Catholic Christianity (A Tier), Protestant Christianity (A Tier), American Civil Religion (D Tier), and a hypothetical Order of Michael Commandant (B Tier). Nothing was S Tier!

In this installment we’ll review another religion, one that matches the Order of Michael Commandant in its militancy but dwarfs it in size and influence. I refer, of course, to…